I was driving behind a woman the other day, and she had a license plate frame that read "Eat more pizza,” Eat more pizza! It even had a clever substitution of the letter O with a pizza pie! What's going on here? What's this lady's agenda? Does she just love pizza and feels everyone should eat more of it? If that's the case, I would advocate it a little better. I mean, if I want people to drink more Icees, I would at least give a reason. I would say ‘Icees are totally sweet!’ This way people would now have the knowledge that Icees are totally sweet, thus whetting their appetite for one. I wouldn't just demand that someone drink more of them. Just as this lady shouldn't demand we eat more pizza.

The license plate would have made more sense had it been something like "Eat more pizza at Pizza Pete's!" But it wasn't. It was simply one woman stating a ridiculous directive for anyone driving behind her. That bitch.

Checking around the Internet, I found that this license plate runs for a retail of 13 bucks. If you bought this license plate, you are a hypocrite of your own cause. You could have bought at least 2 pizzas with that money! Here is a list of other things you could have bought with that money:

• The Definitive Lionel Richie Collection Compact Disc
  
• A quarter tank of gas
  
• 13 Tickets at Movies 8 on a Tuesday
  
• A banner on our website to advertise the eating of more pizza
  
• Questionable drugs from that creepy guy that hangs out at the bus stop
  
• Anything else besides a vacuous piece of plastic that makes me actually want to eat less pizza, just to spite you

That’s it. Sometimes it’s fun just wasting your time…

If you want me to shut up about stupid car accessories, let me know at Guerrs@thedeckingcrew.com and I’ll delete your email.